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the unregrettable haircut

· 5 min read

insecurity​

I had been living with a simple crew cut since I was young, because I didn't have any opinions on hairstyle

up until I joined high school, because of the growing availability of mobile phones, rise of social media, and ultra processed life, most people have started following trends and taking more care of their hair, breaking up with the simple asian hairstyle for the most popular korean styles, or anything that just looks like a lot of effort, anything looking good

social isolation has reached a new peak, a trend of covering up your face with hair and mask has begun (the mask trend struck me too)

everyone has become another templated instance of the same trend

and there's me sticking to what I already have, becoming the outlier

reaching puberty, my skin started producing a lot of oil, it would be impossible to maintain and make it look clean if I keep a bunch of thick grass on my head (just because others like it!)

looks like my opinions were still being shaped by the environment!

I constantly think about whether I should get on the train or be left off and feel the homo

but I like simple things, I don't want to have greasy hair, and I'm not going to become an npc, I'm not going on, it's just not for me

this whole thing was basically just the famous high school life that exploits everyone through their insecurity and lack of self esteem

it really was a bit of a pain not jumping on the train though

fast forward...

buzz it all out​

when I was about to be drafted, I thought I would just get a buzz cut at my favorite barber shop before the army barber grinds my scalp, since I've been debating for a while

beyond the cleanliness and ease of maintenance of buzz cuts, I also wanted to reduce my dependency on external qualities when perceiving myself or others, I know that's not a good thing, so it's best to remove any possibility of doing it

and turns out, it really worked

with fewer external stuff needed to maintain for cheap external validation, I began to invest more in the inner me, thinking about what I actually value, what I needed more to be more independent, that quickly became one of the reasons why I'm writing this blog now

by choosing a look that others might judge, removing your safety blanket, something that most people would never do, you are forced to rely entirely on yourself, once you survived, you will become stronger than ever

soon after I started watching the slipper cyclist, understanding what makes a guy real, and learning to appreciate the internal qualities of others

I also started shaving my head to gain more control over my own body, the fulfillment is real, it's just the maker philosophy, lol

starting on 27th oct 2025, it's been 13 weeks, and I've been giving myself haircuts every saturday to maintain the short length

I've never regretted it, I'm glad I've worked through my insecurity, and I'm now even better at choosing my value over instincts

I've since collected a bunch of reasons for a buzz cut:

  • it is clean
  • it is cool, even more in winter
  • it is cheap and easy to maintain
  • it is the easiest style to cut it yourself
  • it will never get wet
  • it makes you appreciate yourself even more
  • it makes you value the right things
  • it drives you to do even crazier things
  • nothing will get on your face when the wind blows
  • less hair to trap your skin oil
  • you wouldn't look crazy after wearing a bicycle helmet
  • you are less vulnerable because you have nothing to hide behind
  • you gain more confidence in yourself

filter for the best people​

during my 4 month draft, the most energetic person I've met in my whole life also had a buzz cut

he likes operating forklifts at airports (also earns a lot!), and was also very optimistic about his life

just like me, although we couldn't do anything useful during the draft (sigh...), we still enjoyed helping move the camp to a new site, while others were complaining about the sun, and how tiring it was to move a few chairs (were they even men?), we actually enjoyed the work and being able to live in the new camp

it's like riding a bicycle, it's like climbing stairs, and it's like walking up a mountain

although the 4 months were kinda chill in a way (I'm so weird), it certainly couldn't have been better without him

I learned a lot from him and really loved being with an authentic person

I think the buzz cut is a filter for the best people to become friends with

validation check​

how to know if you're chasing for external validation?

ask yourself:

if nobody is watching you, would you still do it?

oh no, I think I'm running out of things to yap about since the winter break started, or am I?